yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
Do you remember when I jumped into your arms and you farted?
I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
Randomize
