dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
In local news, attempts to hide phone from extremely drunk self prove unsuccessful for Dallas woman.
I think weed is turning my hair brown
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
I'm legitimately the first person in the United States to successfully shave their balls with a Razer Blade of a sword and fully admitt it. I'm honestly smoother then a 10 year old.
Randomize
