he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
He told me he was cooking me a special dinner tonight. His "five star meal" was popcorn in champagne glasses, and chic fil a sauce in jello shot containers to dip the popcorn in. He still tries to convince me he doesn't smoke weed anymore.
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
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