so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
Decided to smoke a bowl in my closet while my parents are gone. Just sat in the closet because I couldn't remember how to get out. Started panicking cuz I thought they were gonna show up... Checked my phone. It's been 4 minutes.
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
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