My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
Last time I heard from you, you were double fisting strawberry milk and wine. Answer this text so I know you're still alive. Bonus points for a coherent answer.
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
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