I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
Randomize
