she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
the guy sitting next to me at the bar has a patrick swayze tattoo hovering over a roast beef sandwich. 'merica.
We got signed out of jail by an Uber driver. I think that qualifies as a great first night of college
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
Randomize
