Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
These muscle relaxers obviously don't work because I'm harder than a fucking diamond.
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
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