some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
We were in the uber and you were crying because you wanted to be an Olympic gymnast. The driver tried to console you and you just cried harder
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
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