Three words: puerto rican gang bang
His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
The police report said i was screaming at someone that wasnt there, then the cops told me to call someone sober and i called mike to tell him "They are trying to arrest me for stealing information from the FBI" at that point they took me to jail.
Can't talk, ducks in the car
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
Randomize
