We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
This is my gift to your gina
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
Randomize
