do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
Randomize
