sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
She took me to ER. She says thought it was a squirtgun filled with vodka and she was 'marking me for later.' Thank god it's a flesh wound, and we're cool and going to date.
gtg, the cops are here
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
Randomize
