i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
I distinctly remember calling the anesthesiologist a "sneaky little bastard" directly to his face
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
Randomize
