I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
At the end of the date, he asked if he could kiss me. I really wanted to say "dude, I didn't shave for nothing"
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
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