im drinking this country out of the recession.
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
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