The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
The cat just brought me a bottle opener. I think she's my soulmate.
I'd ask how but then you'd tell me.
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
Randomize
