I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
Surefire way to sober up: discover that your car is being towed at 2 am.
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
I drank a fishbowl of liquor and next thing I know I'm sliding into Zach Galifinakis' DMs
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
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