hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
I'm eating tomato paste and drinking banana juice that is expired. Can we please get groceries tonight?
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
I'm high and craving hash browns from McDonalds. Please pick me up. I also would like a hug and a supportive pat on the back when you get here. Thanks.
Its two in the afternoon. McDonalds don't sell hash browns at 2 in the afternoon. Whore. The hug I can provide however.
Malibu has added tequila to its rum. It's like when two beautiful gaybies come together an spawn a unicorn that only cries jellybean tears.
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
Randomize