I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
Can I come take down that wallpaper yet? I stopped seeing that dude and I need to occupy my time with something besides getting drunk at bingo night and cussing out old people. Also, i'm not sure on the legal stipulations but I might have, unintentionally, committed grand theft auto at some point.
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
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