I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
After last night, I think I need a service animal to monitor the life choices I make when I'm inebriated. A monkey, or a clever dog. Or a really assertive parrot.
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
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