when i was ordering pizza, the guy muffled the phone but i could clearly hear him say "its that drunk bitch again"
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
Randomize
