her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
Who wears a wallet chain?!
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
I love how my cats smell like pot.
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
When you give the bridesmaid toast someday at my wedding I need you to quote Ricky Bobby in some form. And slip in your sister has the vagina of awesomeness. That is all.
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
Randomize
