I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
Breakfast-of-shame with my mother. I was in half of a sexy Mad Hatter costume. We had artisan bagels and judgement.
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
i know it looks like there's pee in the mayo jar in the fridge but i promise it's just apple juice that wouldn't fit in the jug after i added the booze.
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
Randomize
