I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
Answer the phone when I call you in a second. Just got pulled over for getting road head, going to secretly put you on speaker phone, this should be good
my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
I convinced a shit ton of people I was a russian foreign exchange student to get free drinks. I knew learning those accents would come in handy.
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
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