i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
Slutty costumes are my most sacred holiday tradition! Wearing a not-slutty costume is like putting cheezwiz on a communion wafer.
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
I may have to marry her. She is smarter than me and has a six figure job and doesn't want to have kids. All I have to be is a trophy husband.
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
Randomize
