You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
So don't be alarmed when you go into your bathroom, he's sleeping in the tub with your brothers dinosaurs. also I'll clean up the sticky floor later. (you don't wanna know)
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
Randomize
