Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
he kept opening the car door while we were ON THE HIGHWAY and insisting he could walk. next time i drive my boss home at 3am i'm putting the child lock on
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
Randomize
