I'm gonna have a badass scar
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
Maybe he injected his testicle?
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
Was not aware that standing loudly up off the couch and loudly, drunkenly slurring "I'M EIGHTEEN NOW BITCHES" counted as a primitive mating call.
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
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