just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
Would I be a horrible mom if I got a babysitter at 6am so I could go get laid.
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
Randomize
