how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
Apparently all year they've been using me as a standard of drunkenness
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
Look, opening a Guinness with a steak knife and nearly cutting your finger off to make another carbomb is always a good idea.
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
I deserve to be covered in dicks
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
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