Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
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