dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
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