She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
I get a nice feeling when i open my fridge and see it filled with thirty beers and half a leftover jimmy johns pickle.
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
Randomize
