He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
Randomize
