Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
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