not allowed to tweet this cos she's following me but i definitely just got head in a stairwell of the university of chicago. wanted you all to know.
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
Responsible roommate: 1. Someone who takes a huge shit at work so as not to clog the toilet at home.
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
Randomize