It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
my breakfast just consisted of gushers (made with real fruit!) and they're trying to tell me im not eating right?
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
You pole danced in your parka.
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
Randomize
