His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
Just figured out I can wedge my iphone between my boobs so it stands up at a perfect handsfree reading angle. Clearly somebody up there wants me to smoke this bowl while I watch my bieber videos
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
i need some magic done to my vagina
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
Randomize
