Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
i found the vodka. it was hiding in the orange juice.
On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday.
Haha hell yea
Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday.
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
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