I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
Use "feeling words"
Yay
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
Randomize
