she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
my grocery cart consisted of hershey bars, sour patch kids, starbursts, mayo, 4 frozen pizzas, 4 lunchables, and chips. clearly, i can't do this on my own.
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