So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
Randomize
