Also, i'm pretty sure i've had my birth control pill stuck in my throat since like...two pm. So i'll be practicing safe oral sex tonight.
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
Randomize
