my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
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