I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
My ATM looks so different sober.
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
When we were eating pie last night, I dropped some, and not only did you not judge me for far surpassing the 5 second rule, you let me use your foot to sock mop with. You're a good friend.
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
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