i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
Lmfao a voicemail screaming about you partying with your tits out and a text at 3 am saying you went too crazy... this should be a good one
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
Randomize