Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
My liver just had a heart attack.
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
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