it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
an off duty cop drove behind me last night to make sure i didnt get a dui. i was blacked out drunk and on a pill of ecstacy. he knew this. i must be really pretty.
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
Randomize
