I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
Woke up with a treasure map of my room stuck with sticky tape to my ceiling. followed it and found $75 with a note saying; "eat this if we're invaded"... I'm never getting stoned again
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
theres a note on the fridge that says "guess what i peed in" and a half-full bottle of apple juice front and center. why did you let him in the house?
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
You've got to be fucking kidding me. Do you think "Husband drunkenly pees all over floors" is reasonable grounds for divorce? So pissed off right now.
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Randomize
