we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
That was before I lit my hair on fire
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