Earlier, I saw a homeless man that looked like Abe Lincoln, and I just saw a guy walk past wearing crocs and socks. I'm beginning to like this city less and less
Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
When god put her together, he was drunk & feeling creative... a vagina here, sexually ambiguous breasts there, and a pair of shoulders that would make a linebacker jealous
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
the guy sitting next to me at the bar has a patrick swayze tattoo hovering over a roast beef sandwich. 'merica.
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
he just fucked me for my cheese..
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
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