I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
Walk of shaming dressed as a zombie hunter. This hangover feels like the actual apocalypse.
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
Randomize
