all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
my still drunk mind thought "hey this is a really good time to stand in the middle of the street barely clothed in 20 degree weather at 4 am talking about the blow job i gave him soph year of high school"
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
Randomize
