bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
woke up in my one night stand's bed and barfed all over her floor. she came back from the bathroom, looked at the vomit, looked at me and said "normally i'd tell you to clean it and get the fuck out, but i remember the sex was good, so i'll let it go." Score.
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
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