I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
woke up next to the new dishwasher. set the record for banging a new employee to 6 hours...i should be a professional sexual predator
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
Randomize
