I was taking a piss and started puking. I pissed myself and made a mess in the bathroom. Passed out, then got up and went back out from 11pm to 5am.
I changed 4 diapers and slept horribly in our hot apt. Now, I'm at my inlaws house watching the Rangers get pummeled. Oh how our lives differ.
so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
Just saw a man being put through a dui test on the side of the road... it was noon and he was on a bicycle. God bless texas.
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
I didn't know it was possible to throw up mid-sneeze.
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
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