I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
I'm about to punish you for sending me a Snapchat of your boyfriend's morning wood
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
Randomize
