The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
the liver wants what the liver wants
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
Randomize
