Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
Just ate applesauce I laced with percocets for dinner. I'm pretty sure my grandmother does the same thing.
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
In other news there is a guy at my office who I'm pretty sure will be wearing someone's skin as a coat one day.
I don't want to flatter myself but after the way he was looking at me today I think it might be me.
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
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