The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
A+ Viking dick
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize
