yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
Randomize
